4 Stages Of Boundaries

Boundaries, fences

Taking Charge of Your Life

If you’re ready to take charge of your life, rather than being bossed around and manipulated by others, you’re ready to set some boundaries! It’s helpful to know that setting boundaries is a process more than a destination. Once you’ve decided what you will and won’t accept, do or allow, you have begun the process.

The first step is to make the decision to see changes.

Don’t try to change everything you don’t like all at once. You need to practice and build up your boundary muscles, to resist boundary busters who don’t want you to change. That’s right. Don’t expect everyone to be happy or supportive of your decision, when you start saying no to them. Those who don’t want you to change will try to manipulate and guilt you into not changing – at least not with them.

The next step is feeling guilty when you start saying no.

Those who don’t want you to change will see to this, to keep you stuck, as it totally works for them to have you do their washing, dishes or run errands. Celebrate if you feel guilty! It means you’ve made some changes. Keep going.

The next stage is feeling guilty, for not feeling guilty.

You wonder if you’ve become too harsh, or if you’re a bad person. People around you respond like you’ve been mean to them, and it doesn’t worry you any longer, and you wonder what’s wrong with you. The answer – nothing is wrong with you. You have boundaries that are holding in the face of opposition. Well done.

The final stage is when you keep your boundaries and feel good about it.

People around you may have given up trying to manipulate you back to doing what they want. You happily keep doing what you want, guilt free. If that sounds appealing, why not make some changes today. This book may be helpful.

If you're serious about taking back control of your life, you can join me for a small group workshop by visiting events here.


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